The Clown Dance

February 13, 2015

Clown Dance

Sometimes digging for joy produces laborious days. It’s work to bring yourself to a place of wanting to set the things that are blocking the joy, on fire. Fire does not equal forgetting. In fact, quite the opposite. To set something on fire you need a spark. A fire is destructive and the ashes are messy, but there is a natural cleansing characterstic of fire.

These ‘things’ in our lives aren’t as simple as Disney princesses make it seem “Conceal don’t feel, let it go…” I’ve got news for ya Elsa. Life don’t work like that.

Some of the digging for me has been particularly difficult because you don’t want to dwell in the areas that are depressing or anxiety filled. Who wants to hang out there? Not I. Sometimes, it’s necessary though; part of that sting, brings relief. The memories can be hurtful but they can also be healing.

What a crazy revelation to see that the contrast of life’s moments can be powerful just in being set next to one another.

So while digging things out that block joy is an arduous task, the good memories are bundled with those seasons of life…they’re the pieces you don’t want to forfeit in the fire.

Lots of them are really great moments. Ones that make me smile and relive the moment almost supernaturally going back in time. It’s the space in the dig that we should make as we search for joy and happiness as we deal with the things life has thrown our way.

One of my fondest memories as a kid is dancing to the music of our family piano that my mom would play when we were little. I always admired that she stuck with her lessons. My claim to fame was writing a piece of music about Hellen Keller when I was 8. I still think it was good, but it was no Chopin.

My brothers and I loved a particular song called “The Clown” True enough, it sounds like a clown dancing around on the keys of the piano. I can envision us in the front room of our old house on Old Ranch Road turning circles, getting sick from belly laughs and spins! We would do this over and over again. “Mom, do it again! Let’s dance again.” She would laugh and oblige us with a smile.

Isn’t it fun to look back to a good memory? I think sometimes we get stuck on the negatives – at least I can. I don’t ever want to push past them because the process of healing from those means freedom. Shoving it back down & not entertaining those feelings is very dangerous in fact. So many times I said “Oh yeah, I’m totally over that.”

Yeah, I didn’t even know I was lying. Can someone testify to that?! I mean, we think we get really good and self-sufficient in our struggles, because the struggles produce resolve and strength and perseverance, right? Yep. They do. And they also produces barriers, and scars, and wounds that run deep…sometimes we don’t even know they’re there. The journey is long when you’re discovering these things and man…I hate long road trips.

A good ol pit stop can save me. Stock up on trail mix, a new magazine and a good stretch. You get to refuel. You get to catch your breath. It’s all needed. You just need a good moment of recollection – a memory of “The Clown Dance” – to trigger WHY you’re digging. It’s the reminder of the joy, the freedom, and the happiness. It’s the life’s moment contrast.

I will always allow myself the contrast. I will dig, but then I will rest. And then I will dig again. I will rest in the moments of good as much as I process through gook and junk and yuck and mess.

These kinds of memories are ones that allow me to say “It is well with my soul…” They take me back to a simple time, one of freedom, innocence, and unbridled laughter and silliness. I loved the memory for just being a moment pondered; remembered and cherished. Something my brain registers as important to recall.

It’s a little diamond in the rough and I’m always thankful when I find them because they are of high value.

What’s a fond memory that triggers a joyful moment in your life? Keep digging my friends!

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  • Reply Jeannie Pallett February 13, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    HI Lisa, I am next to you at Beloved Brews… “the contrast of life’s moments can be powerful just in being set next to one another.” These words hit my heart today as I recall a blessed gathering of women in my home…one comment was made that the Lord used to take me back years to uncover a lie I didn’t even know I was believing. Because of one who was set next to me, sharing words about her own life an arrow was sent into my heart and shot the untruth right out! Now that is a fond memory because the lie has been replaced with joy born of freedom! Glad I am finding joy on my long road trip!

    • Reply Lisa February 14, 2015 at 1:16 am

      So nice to meet you and thank you for reading 🙂 What an incredible testimony – that someone else sharing their own story could have a life altering reality into view! I think God is pretty awesome when he takes others we trust and eases us into the fact that we can continue into freedom through fresh eyes being placed on a moment in a conversation by someone else’s truth.

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