Connecting with who you are can be a scary thing. Especially because we tend to know the places we don’t want our minds to dwell in when we enter…
You know what I’m talking about. It’s the place that you wait to reach – a goal destination each day – as you head home from work and put the last kiddo into bed. Most often times in my life, I’ve found the times of silence to be anything but silent.
Anyone like me lay awake making to-do lists, wrestling with the anxiety of paying taxes…will we have enough in savings to float it, did I close the garage? Shoot…forgot to pack Jack’s lunch tomorrow. I hope he has clean underwear.
It has taken everything in me to not get out of bed after the lights are off and the house lay quiet. I have had to tell myself, “Self. You’re staying in bed. It will all get done.”
What about the times that doesn’t work? That’s more common than just an easy it will all get done kind of thought. When it doesn’t work, I can easily work my way into a frenzy. Yesterday was no exception. Everyone in my house has been sick. Like rounds of antibiotics, shots, doctor visits, middle of the night hangout to cough it out sessions. You name it. We’ve been sharing it (sharing is not always caring!) for about 2 months now.Some people might think that’s a norm as I know many families that are on the sick rotation schedule. It just is. But, my family. No, we don’t get sick like this. 😉 Like, ever! It’s the virus that won’t go away.
Welcome to reality of no control over everything Lisa. It’s this mountain I keep getting to circle. Kind of like the to-do list, the grocery trips, the bills, and the schedules. They aren’t going away. How do I recharge?
As I started to melt down after a long day of literally running non-stop back and forth to Doctors and the pharmacy, I decided to stop. It was a decision. Sometimes I win that conversation and sometimes it beats me. Today, I won.
I stopped my mind from thinking about the pile of dishes that I just cleaned up, but we’re back. Meals, it’s a thing around here.
I stopped thinking about how I’d never catch up on laundry. The pile above the washer and dryer is about 3 feet from the ceiling.
I stopped questioning when the last time I washed my hair was or when I had a full second to myself because asking the question wasn’t going to earn me a shower and blow out.
All you caretakers out there…you are heroes! Moms, you are heroes.
That’s not a pat-me-on-my-own-back comment. Truly, being called to be a Mom is such a task. It’s the times you’re called in to fight the fire instead of manage the fire station that it all counts. The reason I decided to stop was because I realized I was counteracting the one thing that recharges me.
Quietness recharges me now. I never knew that until a few years ago because before it was always a loud conversation in my own head. So, for years (probably most of my life) I didn’t enjoy quietness.
Now, it is my lifeline. You can do anything when you sit. Reflect. Recharge. I try and take at least 15-30 minutes a day or at night to do just that. No phone. No book. No anything. It’s been cleansing and renewing. Romans 12:2 says “…but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
If I’m constantly talking and constantly mulling and constantly scheming and planning, I’ve got no room.
Empty it all.
Emptiness is a good thing. Emptiness allows you to be refilled. If we weren’t empty and always full (full with stuff that we didn’t need to just through a day – just filled with stuff that seems important) then it’s all just clutter.
Quietness feeds my soul. As a mom I don’t get much of it, but I cling to the moments I do get. It empties the crazy and allows the Lord to feed the areas that hunger. I encourage you to find one thing that feeds your soul!